oh boy  ,   _{this is such a big thing like buckle up kids i’m about to go all meta.}  

_{it’s been drilled into spencer’s head since birth that being anything less than perfection is unacceptable.  any imperfection is seen as a harmatia.   it’s what drives her constant strife to be the best at everything.   smartest student   ,   best athlete   ,  etc.   because it’s not so much that she wants to win for herself   ,   or wanting to beat someone at something for her own gain.   it’s to please her overbearing   ,  competitive and pretentious family in hopes that just maybe they’ll love her just as much as they love melissa.   because spencer was taught that love is something you have to earn.   taught that through family dinner games where they compete over who had the best day   ,  the greatest achievements   ,   etc.    but yet it always seems to unfortunately backfire   ,   because nothing that she ever does pleases them.   an example is in the second episode where spencer tells peter she’s taking a class for fun   ,   to which he practically scoffs at her and replies  ,  whats the point in that?    disappointing a family member or friend leaves her drowning in guilt.    she’s stubborn   ,   she profusely stands her ground and whatever she believes is right is what is right.    even if the other person has proven her to be wrong    ,  she usually won’t admit so.    but when a friend is upset at her   ,   disappointed   ,   it sometimes takes her a while before she realizes she is wrong.   she accessively apologizes however   ,    as apologizing is something she actually does a lot on the show.    (   victims of abuse are usually prone to this.  constantly apologizing.  )    she hates being hated    ,   upset by the fact that others fear her or find her unfriendly/intimidating.     spencer tries so hard to please everyone    ,   her family   ,   ali   ,    everyone.   so when they’re disappointed she wants to do better.   she tries so hard.    she actually fears people being disappointed with her   ,    fears the blame.    the disapproving glares.    she strives to please and to be perfect in order to avoid it all.   because their raised voice   ,   their everything is your fault  tone   ,    scowls and glare can greatly affect how spencer acts for the rest of the day.}